The Truth (Coffee Shop AU)

by LUIN

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about

I wanna be very clear - this song is about being transgender. Up front about that. You can read any other meaning into that feels right to you, but this is 100% about coming to terms with being trans. And I want you to have it. Pay if you want, but I want my music to be heard, shared and loved more than I want money right now.

Now a bit of history about the track if you'd like to read on. In 2012 I wrote a goofy synthpop loop with the intention to use it for my absurdist/comedic synthpop project Sick Kitty. This never happened, and instead it sat in my unfinished projects folder until 2015 when I found myself ironically singing the chorus while leaving my ex-girlfriends place one night. The song took shape over the next year and I recorded the first vocal demo in 2016 in my closet. Several different versions later, I created this more folk-inclined version from a place of peace on the other side.

lyrics

I guess I'm not being honest with myself
I'm still holding back the truth
I'm still harboring these doubts
But I don't want to hurt you

So I tell myself that I'm alright and I sing
La la lalala la
La la lalala la
La la lalala la

And yes I know I've told so many lies
I no longer know whats true
And now I must pay the price
Give the devil his due

I just tell myself that it's alright and I sing
La la lalala la
La la lalala la
La la lalala la

I just can't keep holding all this in
All the screaming in my head
This is not who I should be
Maybe I'm better off dead

I still let myself believe that it's alright
I just tell myself that it's alright
Pray to God I'll make it through the night

Will I ever be alright?
Will I ever be alright?
Will I ever be alright?

La la lalala la
Will I ever be alright?
La la lalala la
Will I ever be alright?
La la lalala la
Will I ever be alright?
La la lalala la
Will I ever be alright?

I can find my way

credits

released May 25, 2021
Lyrics and music by Luin Loeffelbein

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about

LUIN Everett, Washington

L U I N is the PNW-based electronic music project of transgender producer, singer and songwriter Luin Loeffelbein. Luin sings about the joys and heartbreaks of her trans experience, of existential dread and the horrors of the modern world with a distinctive futurepop sound influenced by her bizarre childhood music taste and her newfound love for darkwave and industrial music. ... more

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